A Morning Coffee to Remember (Fall 1999)

By Jim Ramsey

 

This morning was special for two things: First, it was the first morning of fall weather; there was a cool breeze blowing and I sat near the heater enjoying the trees in their various colors, green, yellow and gold. "Hi Jim," I heard from the street, and I looked over and there was a woman whom I have not seen in over four years.

I was overjoyed at seeing her and soon we were chattering away about our lives over the past years. I noticed she had gained quite a few pounds.

As we walked down church street towards the subway station, Jenny began crying. "People are looking at me because I am too fat and I look ugly," she moaned, I responded, "Or they are looking at two people walking down the road and they are amused by my blockages or they find us sexually attractive. I certainly hope it's the latter."

"Don't you feel ugly about your stammer Jim?" she sobbed (also being apologetic for being so rude).

"Hell, no!" I said. "I thought that once, and then I joined Passing Twice and began to accept myself and then my world changed."

Of course, then came the usual question: "What's Passing Twice?"

"Passing Twice is a support group for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered stutterers and their allies," I said. I then explained how much support we offer each other and we all share our goals, victories and dreams. I also explained I have met some wonderful people like Barry, Catherine, Jay and Bob here in Toronto for pride day 1997 and that I hope to meet others like Nora and Elizabeth some day soon.

I told her about Nora's article in the San Francisco Chronicle and a brief description of those I know and met (all positive of course and I am sure all your ears were burning!)

"My partner want's me to go to Weight Watchers because of my size," she said, "and I am really scared to go."

I made some correlations between Passing Twice and Weight Watchers and suggested that she try it out.

"First things first," I re-enforced "Be proud of yourself, take stock of your life and celebrate in that. Judge yourself from your heart and not by your perceptions of others."

We chatted a little more and as we edged closer to the subway
station. "Jenny can you bowl tomorrow night, as we need a spare," I said.

"No, unfortunately I can't. I am definitely going to Weight Watchers tomorrow night and I will use all the information you gave me about Passing Twice and your words of support to help me through it."

We held each other in an embrace for what felt like ages, and as we parted I asked with eyes heavy with tears, "Coffee Monday morning?"

"You bet," she said. "And then we two hot studs are going to walk proudly through our community"

I cried like a baby!

 

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