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| Jeff Pulling |  |
| Remembering Jeff Pulling “His love to those in need in his community was boundless” Jeff Pulling, a beloved member of Passing Twice, died May 22, 2003, of liver cancer. Jeff was the senior pastor of Metropolitan Community Church in the Valley, in North Hollywood, California. Jeff will be remembered for his deep faith. He led spirituality workshops at the 2001 and 2002 National Stuttering Association conventions, and he shared of himself in the pages of this newsletter. Even before he accepted the pastorate in California, he often talked about seeking wholeness among the different parts of his life. In 1996, when he belonged to the stuttering self-help group Speak Easy, he described a time when his gay world and his stuttering world came together. “I happened to be up in a Vermont meeting with a group of gay and lesbian folks who were talking about forming a new Metropolitan Community Church,” Jeff wrote. “In that town at the same time were two of my Speak Easy friends from Connecticut (a heterosexual couple). The mother of one of them was very sick, lying in a hospital close to death. I took time off from my MCC meeting to connect with this couple in the hospital, visit the dying woman, and talk and pray with my friends. It mattered not to them that I was a gay minister involved in a primarily gay and lesbian church. What did matter was that I was a sensitive and spiritual friend who took the time to come to the hospital and be with them in their distress.” In 1997 Jeff began working at MCC in the Valley. “I am walking into this church,” he told us, “well aware of both its strengths and its problems, and the congregation and its lay leadership know that their pastor is a strong, sensitive, insightful and light-hearted guy who happens to stutter.” Most recently, last spring, Jeff wrote, “My prayer and hope for all Passing Twicers is that we get in touch with those parts of us that are in need of healing, and that we go after healing—with prayer, with the support of friends and loved ones, with the help of professionals, whatever it takes. Dis-ease and pain do impact how we see life and live life. Let’s get healed—whether that be physical, emotional, or spiritual.” Here are some reflections on Jeff by other Passing Twice members: Jeff S. (New York): Jeff Pulling was someone I had been in touch with for more than ten years. He was an inspiration to me and I will miss him very much. I knew Jeff from my early days in the stuttering self-help movement. We first met in the early 1990s at conventions of Speak Easy, a Northeast organization for people who stutter. At that time Jeff lived in Hartford, Conn., where he worked for a large corporation. While Jeff was someone who I saw only at conventions, we did spend time together each year catching up. At a conference several years after we first met, Jeff confided in me that he was worried about keeping his job. The company that he worked for had recently been sold to a larger company. He was not sure if his job might be transferred to Boston, or if he would still have a job at all. This led Jeff to reexamine his life and career goals. As we know, this search eventually brought him to the West Coast, and his new career with the Metropolitan Community Church. I was able to visit with him there several years ago. I am sad that Jeff was taken from us so soon. But I am glad that he was able to find his true calling in life. Nora (San Francisco): A new phase of my spiritual growth began when I entered a drug treatment program in 1992. I had been raised a Catholic, but did not quite understand the relationship that God had in my life. Through the 12-Step program I was able to believe in a higher power. My faith grew and I slowly realized that I did not have to live life alone. I began walking through life with a God of my own understanding. Many years later I desired to explore my faith further and found myself sitting in the congregation at the Metropolitan Community Church in San Francisco. I wasn’t sure what being a queer Christian was all about, but I knew I was in the right place. In the early years at MCC, I felt at peace with my sexuality and religion, but wrestled with being a queer person who stuttered. I still felt different and often struggled connecting with others and with my God. During that process I met the Rev. Jeff Pulling. I had known of Jeff long before I met him in Boston, and was anxious to meet a spiritual leader who stuttered (and who was gay). When I met Jeff, I shared with him my experiences at MCC, struggling to have my voice heard in my queer spiritual community, and having faith in God. He invited me to his church whenever I was in the Los Angeles area, which ended up being that same year. Jeff was the senior pastor, which meant that he’d be talking a lot during the service. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to sit in a congregation listening to a preacher who stuttered. My own self-doubt about having my stuttering voice heard was emerging again. I sat on my hands that Sunday morning sitting next to Tom and Robin. There were many people surrounding us, and clearly they all knew that Jeff stuttered ... and were still attending church. The service began, music played and Jeff walked in with his fellow ministers. He stuttered right on through the service, delivering a powerful sermon and ... people listened. Eventually my nerves settled for him (or was it for me?), and I enjoyed the service. Jeff was respected in his spiritual community. His voice was heard; could mine? I was asked to speak at the Holy Thursday service that following year at MCC-San Francisco. I shared this pivotal experience with Jeff when I saw him later in Southern California at the NSA convention. I believe that he provided me the strength to know that my voice could be heard in my queer spiritual community. Thank you, Jeff. Thank you for your strong presence as a gay, Christian man who stuttered. Robin (San Francisco): Jeff made an impression on me clearly when we talked at the 2002 National Stuttering Association in Anaheim during dinner one night. We sat there reacquainting ourselves after not seeing one another for a year, and I asked him what his favorite part about being a pastor was at MCC. He thought for only a moment and said that it would have to be the day that he blesses the animals in his congregation each year. I raised my eyebrows and then he went on. He explained that he designated a day of blessing to the pets of the congregants at the Metropolitan Community Church in North Hollywood. Then I remember him saying, “Yes, without a doubt, that’s especially rewarding.” He demonstrated to me that day that his love to those in need in his community was boundless. His value in this place cannot be measured. Catherine (Los Angeles): As all of us know, we lost a great person in Jeff Pulling. I got to know him on my frequent visits to Los Angeles. The thing that struck me most about Jeff was his courage and intelligence. He took on a very difficult and sometimes thankless job when he became pastor of the MCC in North Hollywood. But, it was what he was meant to do, rather than working in a bank somewhere. I can’t picture that. He tackled the job of pastor with great enthusiasm and never let his stutter get in the way. To stand up in front of a crowd of people and give a long sermon every Sunday, regardless of how well your stutter seems to be working on that day, takes a special kind of courage, one which I don't have. I also got a hint of what it takes to keep a church running when I went to see a play with him, about a preacher at a big Baptist church. He was able to give me more insights into the play and what is entailed in keeping a small church running than I ever would have known otherwise. One of my memories is him choking down my garlic-filled spaghetti sauce (you could smell it half-way down the block!) when I cooked dinner for him and Tom once. He ate it with a smile on his face, and I never knew what his stomach said to him afterwards. It's a great loss to the MCC and to us all, but I’m very glad that he got a chance to exercise his true passions and capabilities in coming to the MCC, rather than being marooned in some incongruous bank. The thing to remember is what Tom said to me—he was at peace in his final days, knowing that he was going to a better place. I hope to see him again up there one day. |
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